Posted by katrina on Nov 1, '09 10:19 AM for everyone It's really nothing like I imagined.
I could have looked like I knew what I was doing at times, or I could have appeared as if I was actually breezing through the whole ordeal. But really, now that I think about it, I can honestly say that law school's a bitch.
Yes, I am about to tell you just what it's really like albeit the picture I will paint may not be the most accurate nor the most ideal one. But here is law school from the point of view of a mother of a 2yo and wife:
To be sure, the workload is impossible. I wont lie to you by saying that I finish the required reading per day or that I imagine the law clearly in my head. Because the truth is, I never finish half of what is required, I just seem to breeze through every topic so that at least I know a little of everything; or in the case of jurisprudence (seeing as we are required to read and commit to memory 30 long cases per day) I sometimes do resort to digests (which are outlines of cases made by the upperclass) in utter desperation.
And as with imagining the law clearly in my head, that for now is a clearly impossible feat. Whenever I read a codal provision, it gets jumbled up in my head,and thereafter it dissappears from memory completely. There comes mornings when I would not remember a single thing I read at night. There are recitations where only my sentence construction may be commendable. All else, I got through with sheer luck and maybe the pity of my professors.
But somehow, the fact that they say that there is no social life in law school may not be entirely true in my case. Because here, I found some of my dearest friends,who I would like to believe would be my friends for a long time. Here I finally felt that I fit in without trying too hard. Lunch dates with the girls or a movie with the hubby may not be an entirely impossible feat because law students need distractions for their sanity. It is an absurdity to keep studying 24hours a day, 7 days a week without ever getting some form of non-academic activity.
There are weeks however that you would unwillingly find yourself tied to the library even during in-between breaks. Somehow, the time to prepare isnt just enough. Especially for a mom like me who has to tend to her two year old. But I think the first year in law school is built to be such.
The sad thing is I may not really find the time to do the things that used to keep me sane. Like writing. Or reading for leisure. Or entering a bookstore just to browse the books.Or entering a mall that is not Powerplant. I'd so often reject vendo coffee for its artificial taste, but it has now become a staple, due to the shortage of time and money and the surplus of stress.
But somehow, I find myself fulfilled as I stagger on to read everyday. And even though the end of the semester only signifies more promises to do better the coming semester, I crave for the daily rush and the panic and the want to lie down and pass out after a stressful day.
Granted, I believe in a higher purpose for each in every one, and I believe that I am in this journey for something greater than I imagine, but I'm taking things one day at a time. I'm afraid I'm still caught in all the little details, and is only beginning to see the bigger picture. But all I know for the moment is that I'm taking the setbacks in stride and I am ready for battle again.
And the battle shall begin again. Second semester, here I come! Posted by katrina on Sep 27, '09 10:01 AM for everyone Posted by katrina on Jul 1, '09 9:40 AM for everyone Posted by katrina on Dec 28, '08 10:46 AM for everyone |  | Boodle fight with JN's high school classmates.
(JN and I with BJ, Aylynn, Mollet, Gilbert, Shiela, Miko, Stacey, Verman)
FUN FUN FUN. |
Posted by katrina on May 16, '08 3:10 AM for everyone As I pass through the city, all of my sanity held firmly in my clenched fist, I realized that even the most familiar sights seemed strange. Suddenly, in that profound moment, I could not recognize the congested roads, the dusty buildings, nor the people sitting next to me. The whole scenery was a blur; my wretched eyes could only take in the captivating feeling of being behind the wheel, my hands--still clenched--in a 10-10 position, and the narrow road stretched out before me.
It was the first day of driving school. And I felt scared; scared that I am about to take a leap of faith to my independence; scared that the city is just a row of colors, all moving away from me at every grunt of the engine; scared that I might take a wrong turn, or a life.
But I also felt refreshed, like I had just had a breath of fresh air. Like everything suddenly seemed so new, and so beautiful. Like the sun suddenly shone so brightly, and rain poured in a different way. It was like being in a reverie, where time stopped and it was only me and the manual Altis. Just the car and me, bonded, uplifted, joined forever.
And after the lesson, I didnt stop. I couldnt stop. I had to have more. I convinced JN, that yes, I will be the one to drive home; that yes, I can do it now; that yes, he can by all means yell at me when I do something remotely stupid. And I did, and it was rewarding. I was proud of it. I bragged about it to my dad (who had been forcing me to learn how to drive for ages), and he seemed impressed. There were panic moments, of course--when JN would yell endlessly because according to him, and I did not believe him the slightest, I almost hit someone; when he went on lecturing me that it's better to spare a life than to avoid a passing car; when he kept cursing--yes, cursing--because i was too close to the edge, too close that we'd fall off the road; and when I told him that now, I understood why he wouldnt teach me; and when I almost cried out because it was like i was being reprimanded by a police officer, just by his mere reactions, which I understand is for my own good.
But I am proud. I am proud that my engine died four times during the lesson; I am proud that I couldnt get the tamang tipla of the gas pedal and clutch, hence, the dying engine; I am proud that the instructor, however stern he is would patiently remind me to look right and left (even though I am still stubborn, and wouldnt); and I am proud to have braved the road, a first-timer that I am, and emerge--alive and unbruised.
Yes, I am alive. I can still breathe. And I shall go wherever the road takes me. ;)
Posted by katrina on Apr 29, '08 3:05 AM for everyone If you call me Kat then you are a friend, a classmate, or an acquaintance.
If you call me Bukatkat/ Katkat / anak, then you are my dad, mom, or a family member.
If you call me Katrina, then you are Rej, or you are teachers in Ateneo.
If you call me Beh/ Mots/ Motsie/ Hi-ranj/ Hoy Hirang, then you are JN.
If you call me Kachich, then you are Nats, ailish, or Uzzi.
If you call me Katrinz, then you are Ina, whom I miss.
If you call me Sis, then you are Char, whom I call sis in return.
If you call me Bez, then you are Angelique
If you call me Katuch, then you are Kevin.
If you call me Ate Kat, then you are my younger sisters and brothers and cousins and friends in the community.
If you call me Butthead, then you are Kuya Bipol.
If you cal me Trintrin, then you are Jill way back in freshman-sophomore year.
If you call me Nerd, then you are Ailish again.
If you call me Cuz, then you are Maan.
If you call me Ninang, then you are Kiko and James.
If you call me Katsupoy, then you are my aunts and uncles.
If you call me Roomie, then you are Aeisa, DA, and Myra
If you call me Kathy, then you are Sir Randy.
If you call me KatHi, then you are one of my blockmates in Comtech.
If you call me Kat Hirang, then you are probably from Ateneo.
If you call me Besty, then you are Rendell.
If you call me Mommy Kat, then you know that I have Nate now.
If you call me Wifey, then you are JN again.
If you call me Honey then you are Dana again. Are people legally allowed to change their nicknames? I think I have an idea of what I want as my nickname, thanks to this :) Posted by katrina on Apr 28, '08 11:42 PM for everyone bless the people who will call me baduy, but i still love heart evangelista. i liked her from day one. and now she's transferring to GMA! yun lang. nagulat lang ako. :) Posted by katrina on Apr 25, '08 3:26 PM for everyone What could be more alarming than the whole nation clamoring for food? What could be a worse political crisis than people being deprived of their staple, most basic sustenance for life? And what could be sadder than what happened to Henry, a man who died of heatstroke while lining up to buy rationed rice?
Calling it The Rice Problem is appropriate. It is indeed an impending problem, a looming possibility of massive hunger. But it is a problem that calls for all the wrong solutions. The government's plan of action is to import rice from other countries and sell it at a strategic price so as to preserve the supply. And finally, in this highly stratified and classed society, the poorest of the poor is being prioritized based from NFA's plan to sell government subsidized rice in barangay halls and slum communities.
Most of us do not feel affected by this. So long as food is served in our table, then all is well. So long as we still can find substitutes for rice--such as pasta, mashed potatoes, wheat breads, even cereal--then we are more than fine. We shall be able to subsist day after day after day. But these substitutes can only be afforded by the well-off, leaving the poor to fall in line under the heat of the sun just so they could get three days worth of meals. And then what?
This is not just a problem of poor governance but also of the typical Filipino mindset. If there is one thing I learned on my trip to America, it is that Filipinos tend to practice what we call maling pagtitipid. Public officials will shut off the lights in the highway just to save electricity. Never mind that the likelihood of accidents are escalating, or that people are complaining. All of us Filipinos have an automatic, resounding mantra which goes: huwag magsayang, kailangan magtipid. The ironic fact is that even with that mindset, and even with the Filipinos' thrift nature, we are left with a decreasing rice supply. The food cabin is slowly emptying, and it calls not for a substitute to the staple food, but for a substitute to our minset.
So instead of knocking our heads off by trying to find ways to save or to abandon any kind of haste and waste, I think the Filipinos must find a way to increase supply. I guarrantee that the government is doing that already, importing excess rice from other countries. I also guarrantee that it just puts us in a more perilous and more vulnerable state than we already are.
What we need is a 360-degree turn. What we need is a refuge to the primitive lifestyle we all once lived. We must go back to basics. We must go back and dig up the most fundamental ways of living.
Agriculture in the early governments have been one of the most basic, most fundamental ways to sustain our needs. The fact that our world is increasingly becoming modernized and globalized does not pass as an excuse to abandon the simple ways of life, the simple tasks of planting and harvesting, which may undoublty and eventually lead to abundance. We have done this before and we can do it again.
Let us support in planting more rice. In fact, let us all participate and plant rice ourselves. Easier said than done, right? But I believe there is a way. There is always a way. In every dark tunnel there is a glimpse of light at the other end. But I also believe that the government must act upon it, because if they wont, then the people certainly wont. There wont be good followers if there are no good leaders.
Anyway, I am really not in the position to start a rice campaign, or march from Batangas to Malacanang demanding rice. This is just concerning my views, because the whole issue bothers me. And truth be told, as of now, this is the most I can do.
And until technology comes up with a way to make human beings to subsist without the intake of food, a possibility that can be imminent, and until such technology can be made available to the poor, then the cyborgs still need to eat after all. Posted by katrina on Apr 23, '08 12:36 AM for everyone who has a live journal account? pls tell me so i could add u up :) Posted by katrina on Apr 17, '08 1:30 AM for everyone Posted by katrina on Apr 16, '08 3:35 AM for everyone ten years from now, it doesnt matter how much is in my bank account, the kind of car i drive, how many places I have been to, or what sort of house i lived in but the world may be different because i was important in the life of a husband and a child. para kay jie at para kay nate. :D Everything - Micheal Buble You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.
And you play it cool but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true.
'cause you can see it when I look at you.
[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.
And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.
[Chorus]
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah
Posted by katrina on Apr 10, '08 3:54 PM for everyone | Glamorous (Feat. Ludacris) | | The Dutchess | | Fergie | |
Posted by katrina on Apr 10, '08 3:13 PM for everyone  | Category: | Movies | | Genre: | Mystery & Suspense |
good flick. very interesting ending.
the only part i couldnt understand was how they actually counted cards! di kaya ng powers ko. maybe my dad would get it, pang mathematician kasi ung mechanics.
but the story was good. although about gambling, the ending was right. not corrupt at all.
2 thumbs up! Posted by katrina on Apr 10, '08 2:46 PM for everyone one thing is for sure. this place i regard as a place of self-improvement.
i am bored half the time. but i do get the opportunity to chat with people who have been through all walks of life. so i might as well take the plunge into improving my own life. at least three people have told me that here, when you work you REALLY work. no breaks. no rests. no dilly-dallying. and when you've actually done the work you're supposed to do, you are paid an amount that will drive you mad. pero dito daw, mataas ang kita pero mataas din ang bayarin. the money earned just slips through their hands and ends up in bills, in pending insurances, in cars on loan, and in the heaviest investment of all, a house. To top it all off, sort of like the frosting in the cake, you slave over house chores at the end of the day because no one will do it for you! last night, JN and I have been invited by his high school friends who have migrated here a long time ago to dinner. The guy's name was Mark and he married early too. They now have a 2-year old kid and he has struggled through all kinds of jobs here. I learned from them,too. The girl, Mina is a stay-at-home mom since the daycare would practically rip their salaries off. She seems to really love her kid, and it made me miss my nathan(again!)! Life is hard. But we have been created to fight all these hardships. We have been equipped by our Creator by the necessary skills and strengths that we need to battle all the forces of life. Some may be luckier than others. I am luckier than others. But I believe in this world, all of us are equal. We only become better than others by the decisions we make. Nadapa na ako noong una. I have stumbled and made mistakes. But seeing America, seeing all the people who have made their lives better here, I am inspired. But I choose to take a diiferent route. I want to raise my child in the Philippines (truth be told, kids here are TOO independent. I like Filipino values more!). It is too enticing to migrate but at this moment, I think I'll keep my foot firm in my homeland. America is a future option, a land of milk and honey. I think I will drink the bitter pill first. When Mina opened her purse, it revealed a Louis Vuitton wallet and an Apple iPhone. Her purse was a Dolce and Gabbana. These are easy enough to attain with a dollar salary. But maybe a Louis Vuitton wallet's time in my hands is not yet due.
Maybe I am happy with my Sony Ericson k800.
Maybe I am meant to buy an Acer rather than a Macbook laptop.
Just because. America is a nice place to visit. But so much more is waiting for me back home. Posted by katrina on Apr 9, '08 4:50 PM for everyone   
mischa barton + keds = i love it :D Posted by katrina on Apr 5, '08 3:48 AM for everyone i had a pretty great day today. the great thing about being in california is that you can just say "hey, lets go to disneyland tomorrow!" and it will be possible. after all, it is 30 minutes away! so me, JN, jedi and the billionare's-daughter kelby rode on kelby's super cool fj cruiser to experience the "year of a million dreams". it was everything a kid would ever dream of. it was the treasure chest of disney fanatics. star wars. finding nemo. snow white. it's like being a kid again. the only downside was that i really missed nathan a lot. there were a lot of mommies dragging strollers around, a lot of cute little toddlers strolling along. it made me anticipate how much nathan is going to be amazed by this place one day. we went to california adventure next. the highlight is just that we rode in the scariest rollercoaster i've ever been in (although they said that is NOTHING compared to 6flags). im not so much a fan of rollercoasters, but because today is "be crazy coz ur a kid day", we all hopped on and screamed our insides out. kelby was dissapointed because after the rollercoaster, we wouldnt try the tower of terror ride. that i really couldnt muster enough courage to ride. we ate yet and again in shabu-shabu. and had ice cream in cold stone. but the night wasnt over yet. we are now cozying up on the couch with the videoke and booze. it's gonna be one hell of a night. :) i really really miss nathan. sometimes, i would make side comments to jie that its better to head back home because then we would be with him. but somehow, i'm still hanging on here. i know its kind of cliche but honestly, despite all these great adventures and bondings that we're having, nothing can replace the feeling that the good, old family gives. but the world is still turning. things change every moment. miracles happen. globalization has made it easier to transcend boundaries and alienate borders. that i am prepared to believe. Posted by katrina on Mar 27, '08 3:06 AM for everyone march 26 2008 i had the longest day i ever had in my life. at this same day, i ate two breakfasts, one lunch, two dinners and one midnight snack. at 8pm i was groggy, when i woke up it was 8pm again of the same day. the wonders of the world unfold before my eyes. Posted by katrina on Mar 16, '08 10:19 AM for everyone | Start: | Mar 26, '08 8:00p | | End: | Apr 30, '08 |
im excited. its my first time. but i cant rejoice just yet.. because i have one more exam, and three major papers to go :C shet.. Posted by katrina on Mar 11, '08 3:40 AM for everyone well, not technically. it was late, so it onl got a B plus. BUt the fact that Dr. Abad told me it deserved an A, and praised the paper in class was enough for me. i dont need the letter grade, i just need his approval. because i have long been wanting to have an A paper for his course (all the others were B's or B+'s). because i like this teacher so much that impressing him means everything to me. so i really really worked freaking hard (part of the reason why it's late hahaha) i dont mean to brag. it's just that i feel like jumping for joy. i feel like i could change the world. (haha ang landi noh?) anyway, it was just so sad that i submitted late! snaps for cat! she's getting two A's in a row. look at me. i'm breathing! Posted by katrina on Mar 6, '08 4:27 AM for everyone The transformation of intimacy Dr. Abad kept talking about Anthony Gidden’s view on how intimacy has changed during class today. It was actually relevant as to how we percieve things to be. Love letters are deemed to be cheesy, dating is more casual. And more people are opting to stay single for a long time (although I couldn’t say the same for myself, hehe) and that it is a predicament for women nowadays to establish a career and find the man of their dreams. I absolutely adore that guy! Stars or SARS? Before heading home, I mentioned to Cat that I might be headed to the US this summer. She smiled at me and said, “Wow, there are stars there.” (or something like that) Pero what was funny was I thought she said na may SARS doon. Naturally, I was horrified, even loudly exclaiming “Ha? May SARS dun?!”. I realized my mistake after a while and we had a good laugh. Hugs, Cat! A dose of kindness goes a long way True, true. I did a favor for Rej one time when were studying in Starbucks, and it entailed also the help of Mr. Guard. Because Mr. Guard was so game and so bait, I bought him a banana loaf to snack on as my way of saying thank you. And every time after that, I would notice that he seemed extra nice. I was even surprised he remembers me every time I pass by. If he was on duty and I would happen to pass by Starbucks, he would flash me this megawatt smile, and greet me every single time with “Thank you ulit, Maam ha.” Come to think of it, 40 pesos lang ung banana loaf, just a chunk of my weekly allowance. And to Mr. Guard it meant more. I wish I knew his name though. It feels good to make people happy. J Golden crescent Rej might just sublease our condo. Soon. Fingers crossed J Au revoir!
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